Monday, August 1, 2016

Dream Log: Vagueness In Rescue And Love

2 dreams from last night.

1st dream: I was inside a Catholic church located downtown in a big city, on a snowy winter night. I was in charge of a rescue attempt: but whom I was rescuing, or how, or why it required that I stay there in the church, I couldn't tell you. I kept moving from the front to the back of the ground floor of the church. The nave had stone walls and stained glass and pews worn from long use. It was rather dark in there. In back, away from the public area, was a kitchen, and for some reason, it was full of a lot of people bustling around and cooking. This may have been for a soup kitchen, I don't know. The kitchen had a door opening onto an alleyway. Both this door and the church's main front doors were unlocked, and well-meaning people kept coming in both the front and back doors, wanting to assist me and my crew of 3 or 4 other people in rescuing whomever it was we were trying to rescue. It was very awkward, because all of these well-meaning people were just getting in the way and hindering my progress in the rescue attempt, but I felt that I couldn't yell at them or tell them too directly that they were no help. I did keep telling people on the inside to keep the others out, but they kept getting in.

For some reason, locking any of the doors was out of the question.

At one point, a group of well-meaning men, about a half-dozen of them, got through the front doors and past the vestibule and formed a semi-circle toward the back of the nave, the front of the church, and began to sing marvelously. They were singing to help the rescue, and for some reason it didn't seem silly to think that singing would help. I and my associates knew it wouldn't help, but it didn't seem unreasonable that the singing men thought they were helping. My assistants and I went to where the men were singing. The acoustics of the nave magnified their voices with a wonderful reverb. There just a half-dozen or so of them, but they were making a huge, incredible sound, standing there with their overcoats unbuttoned and their hats in their hands. My assistants gave me quizzical looks, wondering why I didn't chase the singing men out right away. The truth was that they sounded so good, and I felt under such pressure to rescue -- whomever we were supposed to be rescuing -- that I just took a moment to rest and listen to the music.

2nd dream. I was living in a small apartment with two other renters, near a busy street containing strip malls and such, on a bright sunny winter day. it was very cold, on the streets there was a thin layer of snow over solid ice.

I was friends with a woman, not one of the two other renters in the house. The two of us were outside my house wearing winter coats and gloves and boots. I liked her a lot, and it was rapidly becoming very clear that the feeling was mutual.

She looked a lot like a woman I met 40 years ago when we were both 15, who was short and blonde and green-eyed and flatchested and very beautiful. She looked a bit like Reese Witherspoon except that Ms Witherspoon isn't flatchested. In the dream the woman I used to know was now middle-aged, but still short and flatchested and very beautiful. I'm 55 now, and I've spent a large portion of my life looking at beautiful women, and when I knew her in real life 40 years ago, she was one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen, before or since. I can remember a lot of the occasions when I first met or saw a beautiful woman, but with her is the only time that I have an exact visual memory of the moment I first saw a woman: I saw her standing with her back to me across a crowded room, and she looked very nice, and then she looked over her shoulder and I got a first glimpse of her very beautiful face. I remember it very vividly.

In the dream she kept standing in my way so that we almost bumped into each other, kept coming in very close and looking at me, gently but very insistently. There was some reason why I felt it might not be right for the two of us to become involved. That reason was never clear in the dream. It might have been something like that we worked together and one of us was the other's boss. Something like that. Whatever it was, after a short period of her not letting me by like that I gave up, and we hugged. She was very short, barely 5 feet tall, and I'm 6'3", so when we hugged, her head rested against my chest.

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